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One of my favorite sayings came from my friend, Pete (also a psychologist), back when we worked with college students: “ If you’re wondering if you’ve crossed the line, look behind you .” It’s a bad feeling to realize you’ve gone too far—no matter what the context. I try to avoid that line as much a

Did you grow up, like I did, hearing The Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you," espoused as the litmus test of moral living? This is a universal moral code, found in the scripture of every great religion of the world. It is a helpful rule, a guiding principle, a reminder

Sometimes before I start to write I do some googling. As a science nerd, it stimulates my thinking if I am unsure about my topic. Be Slow to Judge . Judgmental . My google search this morning revealed a graphic representation of a count over time of the word, judgmental. The surprise? From the 1800s

I grew up in a home where the family dinner was a sacred cow. At this daily dinner table, nearly every topic was open for conversation. We talked about religion, politics, school, and even sex. ( Exception: When at 15 years old I asked, quite innocently, “What is oral sex?”, my mother made it clear

Sometimes I get all tripped up on words. I realize words are my professional tools and precision is important—like a golfer not putting with a driver or a builder not trying to hammer a nail with a wrench. Word of the week? Respect. I hear it all the time: “I demand respect!” “I want you to respect

After thirty years of practicing therapy, very little surprises me. When someone says, “You’re not going to believe this,” I usually hear something I have heard before, either in my office or from another therapist. So while I am not easily surprised, I am so easily disappointed by the way people ch

"You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make." --Jane Goodall My friend, Brad, suggested the idea of this blog based on a topic in sports news--the sudden, unexpe

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water Zen Proverb I often call the daily tasks of life “stirring the oatmeal.” When I hear couples complaining because they can’t get to the gym or take that romantic get-a-way they were hoping for because “Life” gets

Today is a favorite American holiday—Labor Day. It marks the end of summer and has no obligatory gift-giving, laborious feasts to prepare, or time-consuming official parades and celebrations. We often think of it as a holiday of rest—to just relax and do nothing except maybe cook out, hang with frie

I stayed home with my daughter her first year of life. I loved my work as an educator and school counselor, but I wanted to savor those early days and I could not imagine putting my baby into someone else’s care. It was a challenging and life-changing year full of gifts and sacrifices, yet I was exc