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Take 2: Confession #1: This is my second run at writing this blog. I wrote one that “lost the plot.” I forgot this was specifically supposed to follow the theme of relationships. That’s the truth. Speaking of plots--Confession #2: I love romantic comedies and romantic dramas. (Is that a genre?) I be

“Don’t look at me. Stop looking at me. Don’t, Don’t, DON”T look at me.” These words from one of my dance instructors, as we were in dance hold and he was taking me through a new-to-me quickstep pass. He stopped us. “Why are you doing that?” he asked me, looking me straight in the eye, earnestly. My

I spent a bit of time this morning quietly weeping in solitude. I can do that because I now live alone; except for the cats and they don’t seem to care. I’m also a bit upset with myself because I didn’t stop yesterday. It was 9/11. It all began when, upon awakening, I spent a good hour catching up o

Where are you now and where do you want to go? And just how wide is the gap between those two places? Mind the gap is a term that began in England in the late 1960's and is well known by the commuters who ride the Underground. (subway) Because some stations are built on a curve and the subway can be

It usually begins with garlic, onions, olive oil and music. Sometimes there is wine. There can be break-out dancing in the middle of chopping and sautéing. We are in our living room: the kitchen. I’m not sure how the conversation started but it was one of those magical, rare nights with my two adult

"People are important, not things." I remember my mother muttering her own mantra just moments after she discovered her dresser drawers open and all her good jewelry missing. Our house had been broken into. She was crying and angry, asking questions of one of my brothers because she suspected that i

I teach at the local University and as the summer winds down, I think, “Put on your seatbelt.” Typically I have over 300 undergraduates in 4 classes in the fall and then again in the spring. While I have about 12 weeks off in the summers, there are also 12 weeks during the rest of the year when my l

One of my beloved supervisors and mentors had been a taxi driver in New York City in his early life. His metaphor for being a therapist was that of a cabbie: someone tells him where they want to go and he determines the route to get there. For the client, it requires considerable trust and flexibili

“In my village we spend most of our time preparing for rituals, participating in rituals, and recovering from rituals.” Malidoma Some’ Many years ago I saw a twenty year old who was suffering with anxiety. As part of my evaluation of her I was taking a detailed history of her childhood, looking for

Resilience has become one of those buzz words in the field of mental health, performance psychology, and spirituality. It is a fancy word that has a simple definition. Resilience is the strength of spirit to recover from adversity. While some people may seem to be more naturally resilient than other