Back by popular demand, our holiday series is designed to help you navigate the messiness of the holidays. Please join us in making the holidays marvelous this year and always.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones we use to know.....
Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your hearts be light, from now on our troubles will be out of sight.........
Can't you just see it? Your holiday fantasy is coming true. The tree is tall and proud, lights twinkling and all the favorite ornaments aglow, backlit in their light. The presents are artfully wrapped, and the ones you have carefully kept as a surprise, there they are, waiting for the right moment to be opened. The refrigerator is full of all the favorite food, the standing rib roast already seasoned and waiting to be roasted to perfection. And the house has that smell, you know, the one that comes from grandma's cookies being baked and the fireplace being lit. The music you save for just this time of year, the Christmas album that will never get old, is filling the the air. Your loved ones will be arriving so soon, and you are tingling with excitement of seeing them again, of having the perfect Christmas. You will wait up while watching White Christmas and singing along with Bing Crosby. The holiday fantasies await.
The let-down, if you are too attached to your holiday fantasy, can be really tough.Don't panic. These things did not happen to me all at once. But they have all have actually happened to me one holiday or another, and several of them have happened together. What I know is that I am not the only one who has holidays like this. I know you have, too. We are all swept into the romance and sentiment of the holidays. The fun. The food. The parties. The cute kids or grandkids. The love. The anticipation. It can all be so wonderful. And yet, the let-down, if you are too attached to your holiday fantasy, can be really tough.
Here's how to check your holiday fantasies and navigate the messiness of the holidays:
Be aware of what you are feeling. Maybe even write it down. The more conscious you are of your feelings, the better. Are you anxious? Excited? Overwhelmed? Cynical? Ambivalent? Note it. Share your expectations. What is most important to you? Share it with the other people it might impact. Better for people to know what's most important and what you are expecting. Ask others what is most important to them. Be curious. This can be an excellent opportunity to get to know your family and friends on a deeper level. Knowing where the sensitive spots are can be very helpful. Keep a sense of humor. Seriously. Sometimes the irony of the holidays is overwhelmingly funny. Absurd. It's ok to laugh. It might be very helpful to laugh. Remind your friends and loved ones about what is really important. What is it we are valuing during these special times? Attach loosely. It's easier to let go if you don't have a death grip on those holiday fantasies. [bctt tweet="It's easier to let go if you don't have a death grip on those holiday fantasies."] Look for the silver linings. In my life, no matter what the circumstances were, something good and blessed always came out of what seemed like a disaster. Be on the lookout for where the Holy Spirit might be moving during this holiday season of Love and Light. A client of mine recently said, when I asked him what he was learning in therapy, "There is a difference between a disappointment and a tragedy."There is a difference between a disappointment and a tragedy.It's hard to keep a toe in reality during this time of the year.
Amy
